just a quick entry.

went for research participation today. yeah de one with 8credits =D de rp was quite fun!! haha kinda enjoyed it so, yeah tts gd =]

met up with a year4 senior after tt cos had some qns regarding tt subj... ohwells. i reli hope i can pull thru this.

thanks a million to jx for stoning with me all de way after rp. =))))

went to jx's hall after tt to cont stone-age.. and OMG de HIKE to her room is lke prep-ing us for vertical limit challenge!! god. now i noe why she doesnt feel a thing whn she climbs the nie stairs. lol. its just totally horrible. her hall is at de top of this hill, and she STILL stays on de 5th floor. -____-" i was panting after spiraling up to de 2nd level. and nearly totally-collapsed after slogging my way up de last flight of stairs. phews. I MADE IT. *sticks flag on 5th storey*

esther and zen came to fetch me from hall8 (nice car ;]), den we went to hall10 for mj audition. LOL it was bad can. forgot half de steps whn it was our turn to audition. but, bAhhhh heck. i dun reli nid so many ccas (i alr haf band, and maybe cac, and seemingly a lot of other stuff on hand) AND most imptly, i dun lke the attitudes of de seniors der. they're just... snobbish can? x_x a big no no.

but i wont deny tt hip hop's fun =]

and i got home at 9+. half dead today. plus i was 3/4-dead ytd and hadnt reli recovered. yes. blardy tired. but i guess if i dun do some studying today, i'll die on sunday AND next week cos tmr's another EVEN-LONGER day (sch, movie, music theory? JAMMING. to 11.30. -_- ahhhhhhhhhhhh) and sat's booked for ratatouille and ntusb concert...

bahhhs X_X i nid de 8th day of de week...


today is jamming day!!! =D haha yeah its my fav time of de week cos im FINALLY away from studies for tt 2hrs. yup yup enjoyed quite a lot as usual =] brought chocs for them cos they're gonna expire soon.. =X LOL ok tt sounds kinda mean but, dun wanna waste mah rite! i cant finish them on my own anw... =P ok.

tim's cousin and yirun's band also heard some of our songs... and OMG i just nice zao xia-ed during sweet child!!!! rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sibei no face liaooooo. x((( haix....................

hmm lke 1st time after jamming nv go eat with them. lol. yirun went to gig, tim went to riverview hotel with his cousin (sounds a bit wrong.. LOL. no lah i duno why they going der. hahah), andrew and jarvis went to eat, and i went to catch a movie with peiwen..

AND THE NEWS OF THE DAY IS THAT PEIWEN IS LATE ONCE AGAIN. not tt its much of a news cos it happens EVERYTIME but yah, SHE'S LATE AGAIN. lols. so i went to get de tix for "hairspray" first.. and proceeded to stone arnd ps while waiting for tt darling to arrive in her posh bus. haha and she finally appeared after a century passed by and YES its finally movie time =]

and hairspray is a nice show!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha wont say its superbly gd cos middle was a little sian.. but the songs are nice and most imptly zac efron is DAMN CUTE!!!! lol i noe im a little late in high-ing over him whn so many have done so after high sch musical... but he was reli charming in this show with the black hair and super electrifying eyes!!! omgggggg i was totally dian-ed can~ hahaha =P and i believe peiwen will share the same sentiments. *gives eyebrow smiley* haha

went to billy bombers for dinner after tt and chit chat.. god. the servings der are HUGE can. here's mine


haix fattening. =P

took train home tgt.. and we came up with a study plan! fwahahaaa pls welcome peiwen and xinyi.. the muggers of mondays and thursdays!! =x ok i a bit too high. anyhoo, reli hope we'll both be able to study at least a bit every week with this "plan"... YES WE'RE GONNA BE DAMN HARDWORKING >=(

*random* i wore my grumpy shirt today!! wahaha i love the pink and the blue-faced-with-a-green-hat mr grumpy on it. look!


aint he just so spastically cute??? =D


im all smiles now =)) i duno why also. haha yup gonna upload some pics today! from quite-recent events tt are rather memorable to me =))

duing camp..


huimin, esther, wanting, and me during camp 1st nite!


the crazy side of aemi =D

aemi outing!


fish & co's!


HAHA.


esther~


jocelyn~

esther's bday celebration! =]


yeah tts me >=( lol.


aemi's 1st bday girl =]


flexing our facial muscles


all's gooooooood


ruixin~




our new nicks: qin qin, ruan ruan (omg i seriously hate this name. of all de names in de world.. ruan ruan???) and ai ai. LOLL

hehhhh have not gotten all de photos yet so just lidat for now... hope i get them soon!! its been almost ONE MONTH -.-"

ok time to stop slacking.


just came back from dinner!! wahahah met up with simin woelin yihui and shiying for dinner today!! =D im so damn happy to see them again!!!! xD! met them at clementi and took bus to outram.. HA and vry coincidentally bumped into kenneth while crossing the road! lol so qiao. new town gathering sia. =P

anws, had our "hong kong fish head steamboat" dinner! yums i love the mai pian xia!! oatmeal prawns or wadever u call dem lah. lol SUPER SWEET AND NICE!!!! and de mongolian beancurd also damn nice... YUM YUMS. food's gd, company's gd... im a happy girl~ =)))))

hahas anw, sch was kinda slack today.. finally got to meet my grp mbrs! =] didnt reli "interact" much but, at least i noe some ppl now. lols. and i'll be "collaborating" with de fellow year1 student. hmmm he seems to be quite ok with the subj. waaaaa i feel even smaller. lols nvm lah. i'll just try my best and pray for de better lah huh? =]

and i sudd miss jamming a lot!!! just sudd had mani quirky ideas abt wad other songs we can cover and how we can alter dem a bit.... lol. i feel lke singing =]


=(((((((

just feeling so sian now. feeling vry unmotivated!!!!! haix.. wonder why all tt "spirit" has gone..

feeling insecured for my year4 module. yeah scold me gei kiang for taking up sucha BIG thing at sucha "young age" and tell me for the 64683295th time tt i shld've known things wldnt be easy blah blah blah.

the subject's alr taken so lets just live with it ok?

de word to describe it wld probably be insecurity. hmm yah.. im able to understand de stuff in de lect notes after i read them at home -well of cos der'll be parts where i RELI dun understand but tt just happens every so often rite? and i suppose i'll haf ppl to ask qns abt whn i start my proj.. but its just tt insecured feeling lke, wad if its de case lke i think i noe but acheli i reli duno?? and besides, it feels kinda helpless.. i've nv seen wad exam qns for the subjects (not just this. for ALL my subjs, in fact) will be lke and i haf seriously no idea what the "correct" ans is supposed to be lke. at least we had tys during jc days. at least we had millions of tests and tuts to expose us to questions so we noe wad we duno.. but now its lke, im left alone here to "zi sheng zi mie"..

=(( i dun lke this feeling.

im afraid i'll fall flat right at de beginning. im afraid i wont be able to catch up. im afraid i'll cont to be blur as a sotong and forget impt stuff lke proj deadlines and worse still, EXAM DATES. =| i feel so small in sucha big uni world. i dun wanna stress myslf so quickly by mugging at de start of de term but im reli afraid i wont do well. it just seems tt im always the unluckier one who has more things in my head and more responsibilies on my shoulders. it always seems as though i cant afford to fail even once.. cos tt'll mean a lot more things den just failing itslf. =(

ok nobody understands wad im saying.


okayyy its almost a week since i blogged again..

met up with gina peiwen and michelle.c to celebrate mich's belated bday ytd!! ahhhhh so nice to haf de 4 of us tgt again!!! i just totally miss mugging with them =(( alright i dun reli miss de mugging but i DEFINITELY miss their company! ohwells anw, went to have vryearly-dinner at fish&co.. wahahah gotta indulge in gd food once in a while =P and fish&co also celebrated mich's bday!! ahahah so funny. with their fish&co bday cheer and the hat thingy and "fireworks" thingy.. lol. took lotsa photos!! gina pls send them soon! =P hee its reli nice to catch up with them.. lets meet up every month!!! lol although its lke soooo long but, we're all busy with our own stuff i guess.. haa nvm lah. got meetups can le!! =D

had band welcome tea2... and i got to know 4 more flute freshies!! =D lol im FINALLY not de only freshie in de section (or band??) yup and they seem to be reli pleasant ppl too so im reli happy =]]

and had jamming today... yes im proud to announce the band is finally complete =)) finally one thing settled... now left de band name!!! haix i nid inspirations..

and this week was full of shocks cos of my electives matter and some timetable shit AND getting arnd ntu. zzz. it still feels a tad foreign even though im ok with the common areas alr.. =S well but anw the electives thing is settled alr so, tts gd! haha and my prof is vry cute (as in de way he talks and says things. not tt kinda cute-cute) now just gotta noe de ppl in my team so i can start de proj =X

and im so damn freaking lost in econs!!!! ECONS GOD SAVE ME PLS. they're chionging everything lke mad.. oh no. is uni going to be this intensive for 4years???? =S

ok TIME TO MUG. =] im going to study econs. =] and my darling year4 mod tmr. bahhhhhh.


went for tuition ytd morning and made a big effort to go back to ntu library.. needed to read up on my drug module cos i was almost-totally lost in lect =| its shitty. its crappy. it sucks. and to think i was so full of myslf thinking "im prepared for lect!!" cos i attempted to be gd and read my lect1 notes de day before... just to find out during lect tt its alr LECT 2. omgoodnes the shock of it whn i saw de slide projected showed "lect 2".. for a while i even had de urge to say out tt de lecturer got his slides wrong.. den i realised tt lect1 was on monday and i obvly missed it and now its lect2 and i didnt know it. -.- shittyyyyyyy.

painstakingly, i managed to keep up with de 1st half of de lect but de 2nd half was totally horrendous. those diagrams and abbreviations were taken from planet Mars and i didnt understand anything =(( haix.. and on top of all tt crap i didnt see anyone i noe in de lt!! omgggg tell me how to survive this...

alright back to main topic. went to de library and de opac system indicated "no book currently available". =@ grrr i was lke !@#$%^&* !! hellooo i spent duno how much on trpt lehhH den now dun haf! what the HELL. so i decided to not make my trip FULLY wasted and printed all de notes i cld print from de system. lol at least tt'll settle some stuff for de next few weeks to come..

it was only abt 2pm. so i decided to go to de partial-aemi outing at east coast park after tt.. and had my 1st attempt at rollerblading! lol it was horrifying to be standing on wheels for de 1st time. haha but of cos got my dear og mates helping along de way.. thanks so much!!!! esp to max mervin and esther.. vry big contributions. lol. and our dearest shuying was 4hrs late and arrived after we finished our blading -.- shuying u reli rock. lols

anw, esther pulled me along de whole journey back so it was kinda fast. lol and we sang boa songs along de wae! hahaha so nice to meet another boa fan =P keke.

went to parkway parade to haf dinner at kfc and had lotsa laughs with them. lol i love this bunch! hmm im kinda lucky i guess.. all de ogs i were in or had before are all great =D woohooo~

and de aftermath of blading: MUSCLE ACHES EVERYWHERE. zzzz i cant even squat down and pick up things w/o feeling lke an old woman suffering from arthritis.. SIAN. pls let my muscles return to their original painless state soon... and before i climb the 1467380 flights of stairs in ntu!! x(


ok before i myslf start wondering if i've disappeared from the face of de earth... shall blog a bit =]

uni has finally started!!!! hahaas was kinda "depressed" just last week but still looked forward to uni.. and now it's finally started. hmm my timetable's quite ok so im not gonna complain anything abt tt.. BUT i reli dun lke de system!!! grrrrrrrr. choosing electives alone is head-wrenching enuff and we still gotta snatch lke ah-mas for the subjects we want! W. T. H. ridiculous piece of SHIT. >=O

ok just ranting again. haha anw for my case, im pre-allocated 3 subjs and nid to choose 2 more.. wanted to take formulation of drugs and pharmacokinetics BUT der were no more vacancies for the first one!! =(((( so i settled for principles of econs instead.. HAIX. i dun even noe if i'll be interested in econs at all. tts de reason why i didnt take tt in jc ya see... ohwells im taking econs and tts settled alr cos im NOT gonna go thru de whole fastest-fingers-first thingy again becos its more den enuff to go thru it once every sem and besides i think i'll prolly haf the chance to choose formulation of drugs next sem or sth so its still not tt bad.

=]

den jingxiu told me just now... "ehhhh formulation of drugs got 8 vacancies!!!" =| i was reli stuck. cos econs, albeit "un-interesting", wld probably be more useful den formulation of drugs.. even though im reli kinda interested in the latter. =S wad a tough decision. okayy by de looks of it, (im not even planning to make any changes to my subjs. not in de least attempting to.. apparently.) i'll be sticking with econs for these 4mths and so i think i'll take de drugs subj next sem =] ok settled confirmed im happy.

oh tt was quite a long bit on subjs alone. haa im sorry my blog is just full of crappy things.

subjs aside... i rmbr it was only the 1st day of sch and i missed EVERYONE so much i felt lke calling every single one of them!!!! haa but i oni called peiwen. are u honoured my dear girl??? hahahaha =P yah cos de situation was lke, although i have frens in de same course as me, we're not de super-close kind yet so i still felt some kinda "distance" and itellyouar tt reli made me feel completely miserable!! felt so lonelyyyyyy and saddddddd. made me totally miss jc days where i stayed with gina pw and mich almost EVERY SECOND im in de sch. rahhhh even saying this now makes me miss them a whole bunch =((

AND I MISS MY DARLING NTSS FRENS TOO!!! my ahbond! my monster!! my everyone!! i just wish u're ALL in ntu psychology with me. (hahhaha ok tts quite impossible but.. the loneliness reli drives ppl mad) boooo i reli hope this only applies to the beginning of uni and wont prevail much longer.. cos its reli depressing. haix... just hope i'll noe some reli nice frens in tut classes or wadever! *tries to smile*

oh did i mention i called peiwen in de middle of 1st day and arranged to meet her for dinner on tt day itslf? lol YES TT WAS HOW MUCH I MISSED HER all of a sudd. hahaha emo xinyi~~ OK. >=( yah but im reli GRATEFUL to my dear ahwen for just coming down!!!! u haf no idea how much dinner cheered me up tt day mann~~~ THANK YOU!!! *big big hug* xD

ok lah i think if i cont abt de past few days de entry will be nv ending. recently my days are just packed to de max with lessons and tuition and band and trying to find out how to survive ntu (omg) and running arnd diff places and of cos waiting for my dearest 179 bus which makes the whole journey from home to sch ONE HOUR. hello??? clementi to ntu.. 1 hr!! grrrrrrrrr.

and transportation fee is RELI HIGH. =( i reli nid my concession very soon. ntu pls faster make my ez link can?? =X

am replacing yihui as tutor currently.. and im reconsidering if i wanna take up tuition. hehhhh i scared later de primary sch kid ask me qns den i duno how??! so diu lian!!! rahhhhh kids nowadays are reli scary. hahaah =X hmm yah but im seriously reconsidering.. maybe i shld just take up some part-time job lke waitressing or wadever?? =((( i dunooooooo. someone show me de light mannn (DUN be lame and gimme torchlight. u know vry well its insufficient~ *gives guai lan smiley* lol)

alright its been a long day and an apparently loooong entry. time to rest. tmr gotta decipher all tt uni shit again.. zzzzz =S

oh oh oh i just wanna say, i sudd vry vry feel lke jamming okizarisu and ni yao de ai!!!! hahahaah ok i think tim will be happy to see de 1st title =P lols. and ni yao de ai cos i heard it in a bugis street stall tt day and it sudd seemed to be a very nice song! hahaah =P oh forgot to mention. went shopping with pw ytd to buy skirt.. in de end plus 3 more shirts. =X HAHA im so sorry my dear atm card! hope der'll be more input soon...

OK i will stop here =]


ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!

i wish i can scream my troubles away.

ok they're not reli troubles. just feeling super vexed at the moment. so mani things are happening and im so FRIGGIN' TIRED. physically, emotionally, mentally, wadever-lly. i just wan a break. but the only THING i noe now is tt my break is ENDING. crap i just wish i haf one week more to slp in. RAHHHHHHH reality bites.

im cracking under the rut. im going bonkers. (and trust me, im not far from it.) i nid a lot of slp. i feel lke dropping everything and going on a holiday. even if its just to the room next door, at least its a break from everything else. can everything just STOP right here so i can breathe?

=( im depressed. im emo-ed. im GONE.

i wonder if anyone else feels the immense pressure im under now..


went to watch the simpsons movie with gold mbr today!!!! *gives excited smiley* lol it was pure dumb laughter lah anw. pw met up with us for lunch.. den ahgold left and we went to imm.. wanted to go bandworld BUT de store's closed again. zzzz why must u only open after 7pm???

grrr.

anw, met aemi ppl at jp for dinner.. ate at fish&co! =D hahah suuuuper long nv eat der le.. cant eat my fav fish&chips though cos its fried =(( haix.. its all in de effort to get the best of my voice back... but the laughters we had probably just wasted all my efforts lah so.. =X

went to walk arnd after tt and eventually entered the arcade. lol was kinda sian at 1st but high-ed after playing the "hitting machine" =PpP ended off with lotsa photo-takings and ddr with esther.. hee just enjoyed quite a lot today lah. and now my throat feels a tad uncomfortable again =X ahhhhhhh PLS DO NOT affect my voice anymore. its bad enuff as it is.

and did i mention I REALLY REALLY NID TO JAM??? its been 2weeks!!!! omg omg omg I MISS DE STUDIO!! I MISS THE MIC!! I MISS LIVE MUSIC!! I MISS EVERYTHING!!!! =((((

cant wait for sunday. JAM JAM JAMMMMMM.