happiness!!!!!


FREEDOM!!!!!!


as dev said, i made it sound like 28th April is Independence Day or sth. well it IS waad in a sense.. independence for me cannn. haha :P

anyhoo, had lunch in sch with jx elsa and mich and we were lke damn high over those taiwan ou xiang dramas. esp those with shuai ges!!! hahahaha talk until damn high. im SO gonna catch up on my tw dramas mann. even my mom's finished her set of korean dramas and is moving has moved on to hk ones!!!! x(

headed to bugis with jx and mich after tt!! *woohoooo!!!* omg can u sense de HAPPINESS in me????? hahaha jx initially planned to go home slp after de paper.. but kena PERSUADED by me and mich to go BREATHE SOME SHOPPING CENTRE AIR before she hibernates. haha reli mahh!! its gonna boost our health lohh. esp mental well-being~~ lols ok rubbish. she was amazed at how much energy i haf left after chionging exams for so long.. but EHHHH i've been "locked up" for one month alr eh!!! let me out confirm is fly away one i dun even wanna slp can. lols yeah fly fly. i got lotsa things nid to buy!!!!

and so little miss magic tragic (:P) and little miss sunshine pei-ed mr grumpy walk arnd bugis searching for some stuffs on her long-awaited list and finally got most of them. which makes mr grumpy NO LONGER grumpy!! :D hmm im wondering why im MR grumpy..... aiyah its just a blardy name >=(

and de 3 freed ppl went to reminisce their teenhoods a little and took neoprints LOL. its lke totally funny lah. hahaaha but well at least we enjoyed - MY COMP CHOSE TO HANG AT THIS POINT OF TIME BUT LUCKILY THERE'S AUTOSAVE. LET ME DECLARE THAT I LOVE BLOGGER :)))))))) - the stupid session that ate 11bucks :]

i was hungry after neoprints so went to foodcourt for dessert. i noe its damn taitai-ish but HECK WE'RE FREE. and hungry :) wahahahaha reli SIBEI ENJOY LIFE UNTIL CANNOT LEHHSS!!!!!! *sits back and grins*

went back after tt cos gotta buy dinner for mom and der's jamming at night. YES IM FINALLY JAMMING AGAIN!!!! i totally missed it. hahaha well all i can say is that the room totally sucked and pls can we change studio. lols.. but nvtheless enjoyed the session alot! :D went to city hall for supper at cafe cartel after tt.. bahh the waffle wasnt reli great but well its ok. it wasnt bad enuff to ruin the day :)

ITS BEEN SUCHA GREAT DAY I EVEN FORGOT HOW HOT THE DAMN WEATHER IS. !@#$%^&* from morning hot until NOW loh!!! >=( im starting to feel like i reli live in an oven or sth..

well ok anw at least i cleared off some stuff from my loooong list of to-buy list (tgt with some digits off my acct balance too =x) shall wait for nus peeps to finish theirs and go shop for clothes tgt!!!!!!! and our clubbing and OH YAH MY BALI TRIP!!!! ok im gonna search for de wadever now. taas!!!


warning: this might be yet another emo post. i noe its been extreme-emo recently but darn its not tt i want it or that i love being emo. i dont, ok. its just, this phase tt im like this. just bear with me for a while..

at the rate im going, im gonna be taken over by impulsiveness one day.

"in every strong person, there's a vulnerable side that needs someone's care too"
so cliched. yet it makes me wonder, if anyone will even get to see that side of me, like if i crack up one day or sth.. well thats if im counted to be "strong" in the first place. but its just a random thought.

u noe, sometimes i reli wonder if im more of the introvert than the extravert i claim myslf to be. maybe i dun see why ppl will be interested to noe the things i might wanna share. or maybe i nv reli had the chance to do so, like we're not in the "right mood" or maybe.. maybe der wasnt reli a time where i reli felt like i needed to say that lest i spoil the happy spirits everyone's been working so hard to keep up..

[i haf NO IDEA why im "wonder"-ing so much just 11hrs before my big paper tmr so just let me quickly "wonder" finish and i'll get back to my final revision. arghh the impulsiveness..]

went swimming with ahwen at home team ns this morning. she's a huge contributor to my physical well-being mann :] (although not so much for my skin cos i get tanned SO easily. rahhh. stupid tannlines. its just 1hr u noe!!!)

havent swam for 3413960372years and i almost forgot how much i enjoyed being in the pool. well obvly i cant swim as well as last time (DUH its been 3413960372years!) but it was still gd to feel tt at least im exercising and a tad healthier. tt makes me happy :)

rushed home and then to lib after tt to meet goldie for lunch. so sorry goldie made u study ALONE de whole morning!!!! :((( had lunch at jec after ahwen arrived and chionged back to study after tt. still managed to finish prac my stats but, i duno why der's still this part of me tickling and making me feel lke im not prepared. :( am i thinking too much??? ahhhh i dun like this at all... this is so much like how i felt 2days before comms test. totally just wanna bo chap it so just anyhow read thru... just that this time i spent a BIT more effort on practising the stats but still.... i just sudd dun feel lke caring anymore =/

this is so bad. i nid to revert back to 100%concentration!! but im just getting sianer and sianer as the day goes by.. "emo"-ing abt how my psy is so hopeless and how im gonna screw de exams up and all the stupid shits tt're occupying my mind.. i dun even noe why im feeling so sian recently. cant seem to pinpoint the reason. which makes it worse cos it means i cant do anything to counter it. BAHHH!!!

tmr's a big day for me, and a big day for my mom. she told me not to be worried but how de HELL do u expect me to do tt. i told her i wanna stay with her everyday but she told me to just go lib study and dun go der cos der'll be a lot of germs and she doesnt want me to fall sick esp during exam period. well true its logical but WHERE got ppl lidat shoo the daughter off one!! im gonna be VERY stubborn this time (not tt i havent always been) and stick with her. yeah yeah nurses all around but SO????? they're not ur daughter!!!

:((((( everything must happen at the same time huh...

i really pray hard for my mom. nothing will go wrong, right? :(

OKAY im NOT supposed to worry dammit.


:((((((((((((


back to Alt F1.

i desperately need some entertainment in my life.
im serious.

no jammings no singings no outings no movies no recreation NO NOTHING!!!

also no psp :((((

but anw im not tt high abt psp now so thats ok.

and even the pathetic-est GAMEBOY COLOR is with my godsiblings in JOHOR BAHRU WHICH IS A SEA AWAY OMG just let me die. i cant even play super mario now!!!

the only things probably classified under entertainment and which are available to me now are magazines but I DONT WANT TO READ!! read anything more and my eyes are gonna pop out.

RAH I REALLY NEED SOME ENTERTAINMENT RIGHT NOW!!!!! im suffocating from too much psychology and a too-low oxygen content within the 4 walls i call home. someone help me breathe.


my attempt to continue on social psy when i return from my day's battle-with-the-books has failed HORRIBLY. brain feels vry fused again and i feel sleepy once i sit down at my desk. RAHHH the evils of studying..

listening to that song by 梦飞船 again. nv fails to relax my mood after a whole day of mugging (though the lyrics are a little sad but still.. :])

anw, its been quite long since i felt this hardworking. chiong-ed psy from 10am to 8pm today and managed to complete wad im supposed to complete today. well 'cept for social psy..... WHICH I WILL DEFINITELY COMPLETE TMR MORNING. :]

im itching to watch movies!!! recently lke got a lot of chinese movies i wonder why. but anw, forbidden kingdom seems nice!! *excited smiley* cant wait for exams to quickly end so i can quickly catch de movies i wan and those tt i missed (on vcds) and de many many places i wanna go during my sibei short holiday of 6days before special sem starts!!!!!!

*pants* many many things to do after 28th april 11.30am! cant wait cant wait. exams faster over can anot!!!!! x(

and im SO hungry now. damn i think i tend to eat more when im stressed.. keep food away from me pls!!! i nid more fruits and vegetables mann. been "bingeing" on lexus' cheese biscuits and uncle toby's fruitbar too often =x its time to get healthy!! im going to run tmr after tuition >=( everyday SIT and study... and EAT.... bu fei cai guai!!! plus got ppl arnd me tempting me with stuff lke peanut butter ice cream.. damn hard to resist can!! x(

really hungry now omg *reaches for cheese biscuits*


its been sucha FREAKING HOT DAY.

grrrr wads WRONG with the weather. we had de dunowad la nina effect a mth ago which almost froze everyone to death and NOW we're having high temps like duno wad. GARRR its even affecting my mood >=(

thank god my dad fixed the air-con this morning. PHEW. *recall mitsubishi air-con adv* now i reli wanna just stay in the room de whole day but NO once i see de bed im gonna just plop on it and slp. nono. MUST STUDYYYYYYYY.

exams are ending soon. vry, vry soon. persevere. >=(


first paper today. hope it'll be good!

after tues, fri and mon.. den its over. 4 big days more and IM FREE.

yeah mann. wish me luck ppl ;)


feeling... lke nth now. think im just mentally tired. oh nooo its only been 2 days of full chionging and im tired out???? xinyi u're reli lousy lehh x( but its lke by nite time my brain's alr vry fused out and i cant focus anymore.. garr looks lke i reli gotta cram everything in before 7pm everyday :((

SARKS.

doesnt help tt emo-ness sets in at this kinda exam time... RAHHH. so irritating.

in addition to tt, de project's still worrying me. WHY is tt microsoft word gotta be so un-standardised and tt de document appears differently in everyone's comp??? its so freaking hard to even cfm wad we haf in our report (like page number) and wad we do not haf. sucks tt just when u think everything's cfm-ed and done and de sense of relief sets in a little, then it gets upset again cos ur grpmate tells u der's sth wrong with this little part here. ARGHHHH hp200 just go and die lah ok!!! ringo said this might be the last stats course we're taking. well, it IS the last stats course im taking >>=( FOR SURE. (unless of cos if i reli nid to continue it for some MAJOR whatnot reason. otherwise, my ties with stats are SEVERED.)

i nid to slp. slp all the troubles away and wake up as if i haven emo-ed and as if nth dejecting happened. yes. SLEEP.


"eh wake up. mcdelivery's here"

wow for once i reli woke up to a macdonald's breakfast. so blissful~~ hahaha =P

and mom was so enthu just now. she said when she called to make the order, the person kept double-checking with her our address and her ic. so she speculated that we cld've won the mcdelivery lucky draw. $10,000!!!!! =O

shld've taken down her expression. vry lols. hahahaha

much as i was skeptical abt it, it did start a train of thoughts of wad we can do with the money. $10,000!!! and that was it. at tt moment the stupid ad promoting the sms "get" to duno wad number and u can get duno wad duno wad at discounted rates or sth. then they showed my alr-very-tempted-to-get-but-still-pondering psp slim!!!!!!! this totally added 10,000 points to that item on my wanted list and DAMN i reli feel lke getting it!!!!! x( santa are u working tmr????

was vry high abt psp just now so i did a search on it and AHHH im alr imagining myslf playing it!!! told my mom tt i felt lke getting one cos i vry long nv play games le. and she's so cute hahaha she was lke "orhhh that thing ppl always play on the train is it?" and finished that sentence off with an action moving her thumbs as though she's reli holding and playing a psp. (hw111: illustrator) lols!! why do i haf sucha cute mom~~ hahaha well yeah tts de one anw. and she seemed reli ok with me getting it. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ..if we haf de money :)

OH GOD PLEASE LET US WIN THE MCDELIVERY THINGY THOUGH ITS DAMN LAME!!!


my eyebags are officially getting bigger.

which means my eyes are officially getting smaller.

to top it off, im still shedding hair AND EYELASHES (lke WTH they're alr little enuff so pls STOP!!!) damn the stress >=(

headaches are becoming part of my routine. big thanks to hp200 project. which STILL ISNT FINISHED. rah!!!

speaking of hp200 proj the stoooopid microsoft word just freaking pissed me off by choosing no other better time than to give me an ERROR when i was deleting the stupid lines for de tables (its a long story) and when i restarted der was no recovery and de blardy lines are there again which means i gotta delete them manually ALL. OVER. AGAIN.

ARGHHHH that blardy hell PISSED ME OFF. >=( technology.

and can someone tell me WHY im feeling sleepy again??? its only 12.30am!!! and its not lke i've been slping only 4hrs everyday.. i've been getting my full 7hrs of slp per day for almost a week!! by right i shld be damn alert and all but apparently by left im SLEEPIER and MORE LETHARGIC than ever!!! this is SO not helping when u're 5days away from exams. GARRR!!!

top priority now: i must STOP sleeping. thats where all my time goes to. dang.


BAHHH i am SO NOT in the mood to study now. in fact, haven been "in the mood" for a whole 3 days. DAMN this is bad.

not to mention i haf very, VERY intense cravings for jamming sessions recently. probably too stressed up and feeling too screwed these few days. at least i dun feel that screwed during jamming. :( baaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. (at this rate im going im gonna turn into a sheep)

had dinner with peiwen just now. so long nv see my wenwen!!!!!!!!!! omg wenwen sounds =S HAHA well anw i just miss ahwen too much. we haven seen each other for like 2weeks or is it 3!!!!!!!!!! i even see ntu's flies more frequently than i see my ahwen loh :((((

well anw we only met for a pathetic half an hr just now cos she gotta rush off for jamming.. JAMMING!!!!!! i miss jamming totally :((( wonder wad'll happen if one day i grow old and cant jam anymore.. "getai loh." peiwen say. but its different!! its not skyler :((( "u all getai tgt loh!" :D ideaaa~~~~

lols ok think too much.

ANYWAY damn sad lah 3weeks nv meet up den only had a superbly short dinner :( damn the exams!!!! (ok nth to do with exams) haix. i wan hols to faster come so we can haf stayovers again!! can crap throughout the nite and eat snacks (and grow fat) and totally just slack!!!

speaking of which i wanna meet up with ahgold too. this one even worse!!!!! like ONE WHOLE MONTH nv see her :((((((((((

"my life is full of sadness, misery, and sorrow~~"

oh and i nid to get back to gymming again. im gonna get my sexy legs back I DUN CARE!!! >=(


excerpt from RD's 10 ways to turn that frown upside down. (very, very, positive psychology)

1. be less virtual, more 3-D
... if u sit at a computer all day, get up and indulge in some human contact instead.

2. 4, 6, 8 .. who do we appreciate?
making a list of things u're grateful for may seem silly, but its been proven to work. in fact, counting ur blessings may be the single most helpful thing u can do for ur happiness.

3. rack 'em up
think of every positive experience during the day as a bead on a string, and see how they add up. this simple exercise makes u focus on even the smallest positive moments, like a driver waving u to go first at a junction, or an email from a fren in a spam-filled inbox.

4. think memorable, not material
if u have to choose btwn, say, a new car and a family vacation, pack ur bags. even the sexiest sports car becomes routine over time. but the memory of a good time with frens and loved ones will last forever.

5. go to the funny side
"humour is like salt on meat. it amplifies everything." watch reruns of classic shows that nv fail to make u laugh. try to smile at the absurdities of life, and laugh out loud.

6. escape to ur stess-free zone
think of a place where u always feel calm and happy. then whn u're tense and miserable, call it up mentally, with as much detail as posible. smell the suntan lotion. feel the sun. hear the sea. play this video in ur mind when ur spirits slump.

7. see the glass as half full
whenever possible, try to look at the bright side. u might be feeling lke ur life right now is one giant downhill slope. but if u stop and assess it honestly, u'll see u actually have it pretty good. and if things truly are against u, see no. 8.

**8. find ur inner artist
think back to when u had time for creative expression. were u in a rock band? did u write poetry? did u love tinkering with cars? rmbr feeling so engaged that u lost track of time? why not pick up tt Fender (or fender) again? joyful expression can bring happiness. (--> the reason why i lurrrvee music xD)

9. do sth good
acts of kindness, however small, deliver as much pleasure to the giver as to the getter. ... so is giving time, money, or both to a good cause.

10. seize the moment
rather than waiting to celebrate a big event, why not do it today? bake a cake. take someone out to lunch. buy pink nail polish. open tt bottle of wine and raise a toast to a gd day. go ahead, be happier.

"most of us assume that external things -a bigger hse, a better job, a winning lottery ticket- will brighten our lives. while they do bring temporary delight, the thrill invariably fades. happiness is like weight loss. we all know how to take off the pounds; the trick is maintaining it."

:)

de-stress, people!!

******
was switching thru tv channels while having dinner ytd and stopped at this show called are you smarter than a 5th grader?. interesting show! haha its sth lke who wants to be a millionaire where u move up the "monetary ladder" by correctly answering qns etc. well anw maybe its just me but i've always tot their 1st-5th grade is lke sg's pri1-5 but apparently, age-wise yes, standard-wise, no. one grade4 qn was "which subatomic particle exists outside the nucleus of an atom? proton, electron, or neutron?" =S our pri4 kids arent learning this yet rite??? or are they =x i cant even rmbr when i learned this..

well anw de person who got this qn chose to drop out cos she din noe wads proton electron and neutron. ohwells der goes USD$100,000.. (she STILL managed to walk away with $50,000 which i think is hell gd enuff)

and der was this grade4 music qn. i tot it'll be some lke which is the alto clef or some shit loh! in de end it was "wad is de first name of German composer, Beethoven?" .... -.-"" okay...

well anw its Ludwig Van Beethoven. ok at least i know one more thing now.

still, its quite a fun show to watch. they shld implement such shows in sg too so we can win easy money :D (winning $1000 to ans a pri1 qn also gd mah hor.. :P)


hello people im very VERY happy (and relieved) to announce that hw111 presentation is finally over!!!! wooots!!! *cheers! claps! applause!!!*

hahaha ok sorrie a little too high. but its reli lke ONE huge thing tt's finally over!! =D and i think we did ok today. phee-weet!! haha yuuuppp happy happy~ :)) went to watch movie just now too and WAHAHA i reli feel so de-stressed today! but then it makes me feel a lil lazie too :((( okok nonono it was becos of this kinda have-a-break!-have-a-kitkat! thinking tt landed me in today's situation: being SUPER behind my readings and revision!!!

no. history shall NOT repeat >=( *morphed into VERY DETERMINED face* xinyi u will NOT procrastinate u will NOT slack off and u MUST continue to chiong for just 3 more weeks ok!!!!!

yes i will >=)

and tt goes for all my dear uni frens out der who're slogging away as well. we're reaching the finishing line!!! we just nid one last burst now ;)

OH and i dropped my phone today!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!! first time drop and its lke from a great height of 1.6m!!!!!!!!!! :((((((((((( super sad can!! totally fen shen sui gu lohh~~~ *sobs sobs* but no nth. still got vibration and still got AH SHIT I DUNO WHETHER STILL GOT RINGTONE ANOT.

well anw jx was telling me "eh. u noe ar, after this exam.. we year 2 alr!!!" =O!! omggg. SO FAST LAH. i barely felt the "honeymoon" of freshmen year (its a total myth i swear)and WHAM year 2 rolls in. ho ho hoooo. time reli flies~~

damn wad was i saying abt procrastinating just one paragraph ago. ok im off. ASTRO HERE I COME!!


:'(((

i dun wanna study anymore!! reli tired of everything... of rushing btwn sch and home just to get projs done and fret over whether we're even doing the right thing, of listening to lecturers rushing thru their last few lectures, of listening to content i doubt i'd truly understand... of rushing btwn sch and tuition and having parents who love to extend tuition last minute as if de only thing im doing on earth is teaching their kid, of having to put up with the kid's nonsense and short attention span... of the inability to continue my revision becos of the freaking projs, of having to memo my script for my ppt, of revising enuff for my 2 quizzes next wk, of writing my report for 202.. of the prospect of having to cope with my mom's hospitalisation in the middle of exams... of having to think abt wad other song we can perform on gig day... of everything thats happening right now and which isnt helping to relieve all that pent up emotion.

i hate it. i reli do.

i wanna cry so much but why is my mom still awake..

i hate sch :'(