if miracles could happen, how would ur life be like?


this thought-provoking question really got me thinking.
of course, life would be really great because all the positive things would happen and there'll be "no more evil in this world".

most importantly, i suppose, there would be no more fear.

according to a theory, people often avoid talking abt death because it goes against their self-preservation. we dont like to think about how life can end one day, perhaps unexpectedly. would u have done what u could have, said what you should, fulfilled ur dreams, move on with few regrets?

u know, im really afraid of losing my parents. i cant imagine life without them. perhaps im too dependent on them, perhaps i love them so much at a subconscious level i cant even bear to imagine what it'll be like to return to a home void of blood-related people. perhaps i wont even survive a week without them around me.

if u're told the world's gonna end in a week *think 2012*, what would u do?

all the quarrels, frustrations, disagreements i've ever had with my parents would probably dissolve into nothingness in that moment. so what if he's been quite an asshole? so what if she pisses me off sometimes? all these doesnt matter anymore when ur time's almost up.

i dont like to think about death. the thought of it actually makes me feel like im crumbling under the mask i put up when im with people so i appear ok. when my parents talk to me about stuff like how they might just, like my granddad, pass on unexpectedly, it scares me. it makes me wanna cry out that i dont ever want that to happen. i dont want them to leave me behind.

if miracles do happen, i'd want my parents to stay by my side forever.

despite the fear of loss and bereavement, i still dont have the courage to express my love. im still this inhibited, nonchalant chap who just comes home for the bed, the tv, and the computer. teach me how to love.

if the people u love leave u unexpectedly one day, perhaps not by choice, would u regret having devoted most of ur time to work in meeting deadlines and rushing assignments, eating away time that could've been spent more meaningfully with them?

i think i will.
but of course, what's "meaningful", is subjective. :)



what are you afraid of?


梁靜茹-情歌



时光是琥珀 泪一滴滴被反锁
情书再不朽 也磨成沙漏
青春的上游 白云飞走苍狗与海鸥
闪过的念头 潺潺的溜走

命运好幽默 让爱的人都沉默
一整个宇宙 换一颗红豆
回忆如困兽 寂寞太久而渐渐温柔
放开了拳头 反而更自由

慢动作 缱绻胶卷 重播默片 定格一瞬间
我们在 告别的演唱会 说好不再见

你写给我 我的第一首歌
你和我 十指紧扣 默写前奏
可是那然后呢
还好我有 我这一首情歌
轻轻的 轻轻哼着 哭着笑着
我的 天长地久

命运好幽默 让爱的人都沉默
一整个宇宙 换一颗红豆
回忆如困兽 寂寞太久而渐渐温柔
放开了拳头 反而更自由

长镜头 越拉越远 越来越远 事隔好几年
我们在 怀念的演唱会 礼貌的吻别

你写给我 我的第一首歌
你和我 十指紧扣 默写前奏
可是那然后呢
还好我有 我这一首情歌
轻轻的 轻轻哼着 哭着笑着
我的 天长地久

陪我唱歌 清唱你的情歌
舍不得 短短副歌 心还热着
也该告一段落
还好我有 我下一首情歌
生命宛如 静静的 相拥的河
永远 天长地久


heard this song on youwei's car when we're on the way back from his impromptu birthday celebration :)

love the melody, the meaningful and absolutely lovely lyrics, and the mv that moved me to tears. im so gonna learn this and sing at the next kbox session!! lols.

fyi, i've been addicted to so many songs recently that im almost losing track of what's my "top favourite" cos it just keeps changing! lols. there's like..

Wonder Girls - So hot
SNSD - Gee
Taeyeon - If
Kim Ah Joong - Byul
Fish Leong - 情歌

well, just the top 5 now hahaha. oh mannn sucks to have the urge to learn song when i ought to LEARN my lecture notes stuff >.< tsk exam u faster end larrr!!!

will just share the songs here in case u havent heard of them. the slow ones are soooo beautiful!!

Kim Ah Joong - Byul (full song's by Youme)



this song's quite long ago le but got addicted to it when i heard it again haha :P

would be good if u really listen to the song, instead of just hearing it :) same goes for 情歌! haha. im totally loving the goosebumps sensation!

SNSD - Gee



this is just the dance-version mv for the song though. the dance is so cute! hahaha. the actual mv's here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7mPqycQ0tQ&feature=fvst

wahahah got me totally addicted the WHOLE DAY can lol.

ok sorry for the longish entry. enjoy the songs!! :D


i nv knew i could get so furious knowing my mom ate my magnum ice cream AGAIN. grrrrrr. im SO going to talk to her >=(


im soooo addicted to this again >.<



wonderful evening of full slacking before i chiong again tmr :) wahahah jiayou!!


(random)

i "suddenly" feel like getting a Ph.D or Psy.D .. maybe its not knowing what each career means that makes us feel that we dont know who we wanna be or what career we'll like to follow after we graduate. reading the last chapter in my textbook and knowing what each branch of therapist does has helped in clarifying things up, although i wouldnt say the info is detailed. but i kinda feel like i know what i want now, and i'll need a phD/psyD.

but that also means 7 years more of education after my honours... no its not about the time. its about the money. and the situation im in.

which makes me think, many a time, its not because people are not ambitious enough or just like living life as it is, day by day. perhaps its the situation they're in thats forming a barrier between them and their goals.

so maybe the best way out is to change the goal? =/



ok no matter what, i shldnt be thinking about the DISTANT future... i'll be better off concentrating on b-ing my paper the day after -.-


happy :))

didnt study stats again today but i realised, i really have quite a lot of time for stats cos after this thurs i can chiong FULLY for tt module so it aint that bad. that said, i shouldnt put off that stats lecture im supposed to revise 3 days ago.... lol.

last paper for gina tmr, first paper for me. hurrr =/ nvm. the start means the end is near hahah :P woohoo holidays!!

and im already looking ultra forward to after-exam events already :D dec is gonna be so filled with fun! XD

am still contemplating zoukout though..... the money factor is a HUUUUGE barrier :(


i didnt know completing my revision on time could feel sooooo good :D

anyway i had a very happy dinner of AGLIO OLIO *slurps* which totally satisfied my super-starchy super-fattening dinner craving and i came home and on-ed my tv to an addiction i've been trying to avoid...

IDOL DRAMAAAAAAA >.<

i've seen the ad for 桃花小妹 for so many times and im so tempted but i told myself NO i will not get myself addicted during exam period. i'll watch after exams end.

but how will i know thats the FIRST SHOW i'll see when i turn on the tv today????? :( :(

and now im loading the first episode of that show on youtube to "catch up" le... RAHHHH!!! point of no return!!!

都走到这个地步了. i will make this my motivation to study hard!! >=( NO STUDY NO TV.

ok. that settles it.


and jiro is damn cute!!! <3 and so are the other brothers in the show~~~~ SHIT. hua chi mode during exam is so not good...


im horribly behind my revision schedule mainly cos i havent been really productive this entire week (omg one week already!!) plus i took a holiday ytd and today i only finished oneeeeee chapter so..

I BETTER MUG MY ASS OFF TMR >.<

but considering my negligible revision the past 2 days, finishing one chapter of 307 today is considered marked progress so im quite happy :)

studying with siping and karen was fun tooo! :D laughed a lot before siping left and i guess tt burned off the lunch calories and explained why we got hungrier earlier than usual -.- but eh karen i still dont agree that only child-s will SELF-ENTERTAIN leh. i dont say lame stuff to myself at home.. :)

but its really amazing how many sagittarian friends u have surrounding u. everyday at least got 4 lol. good luck for december presents :P:P:P

went to catch 2012 after studying. yes its quite a "sin" but, i havent caught a movie in a zillion years :(( anyway, the movie's not bad :) really quite similar to day after tmr.. lols. and i really wonder if the US govt is really building those big ships in preparation for 21-12-12... hur hur.

a lil odd to think abt the end of the world in just 3yrs' time but, i kinda do believe in that sun-storm thingy?? =/ ahh i duno. why am i thinking abt this mann. slp early and mug tmr!!! X(


I NEED TO GET OUT.

of this enclosed space where there's only me and my textbooks and the why-is-it-still-not-ending irritating reports which are REALLY dragging me down on my revision. ppl pls lets just faster finish it so at least i dont have anymore reason to come back to the comp to check my email for report updates and subsequently go on to check facebook forums and blogs and all that whatnot. UNHEALTHY!!

arghhh. im obviously feeling pissed. and i dont even know why. must be pms.

or maybe cos i didnt eat lunch. i wanna eat macs but der's no macs near my place and delivery is so freaking expensive with additional 3bucks for tt one meal and they take forever to reach ur house anyway and its fattening and i've really had a lot of fattening unhealthy stuff these few days they're enough to last me til the end of the month so i should NOT eat macs anymore.

but i desperately wanna bite into a fillet burger and munch on fries :(((

ARGHHHH. exams reeeaaallly suck u know????
!@#$%^&*


(sorry. rant post.)




i love this song :))

if i only i could sing-and-strum this song myself. and if only i knew how to play the acoustic guitar :( have always wanted to do this song all on my own, and i still want to. the mood, the lyrics, the music, are just right. its definitely gonna be the first song i'll do for myself :)

ok its a secret dream to perform acoustic one day haha. imagining myself performing this song to an unknown audience, touching people's hearts, and presenting another sing-and-strum piece....... *pops*


back to exam reality girl.

i'll dream another time :)


today was supposed to be the official start of full-time mugging session and we're supposed to study from morning til evening but i guess we're not that into the studying momentum yet so.....


we ended up going vivo to shop = /

rahhh ought to be slaughtered!!!! >.<

but if that really happens i'll die a happy pork cos retail therapy has up-ed my mood significantly for most of the afternoon :)) ha. whoever said money cant buy happiness doesnt know how to shop~~


:P alright tt was just a superficial sentence haha. but u cant deny the wonders of retail therapy! ;)

so after treating ourselves to a totally-underserved-holiday, mugging session shall officially start tomorrow instead :D

gambatte ne!


something meaningful that i saw from karen's blog.



thought-provoking indeed.


audition's over! :D

all that stress just for that less-than-10mins inside the small room (the big room is really quite small..) but its over, still, and i can concentrate on sch now :) no jamming for 2+weeks to come.. i know i'll confirm complain abt it halfway through :P

so...
gv17 presentation over.
flute exam over.
eoy audition over.

woots left 2 reports and revision! XD
and exam in 9 days. *faints*

OK IM STARTING ON MY STATS REPORT NOW!


but before i really go...

happy (advanced) 21st birthday to aipheng!! :D



and we finally took a band photo ytd :D



all look so smiley, especially emerson haha :P
woohoo one more stop!


just thought i'll post this up for karen, since she's been in the same shoes as me :(

Piglet Flu

During times of pandemic, the common flu is known as Piglet Flu.
While less deadly than Swine Flu it still makes you feel like shit. (i totally agree)
However, because it is not infamous like swine flu you get no respect from having it. So you feel like crap and no one gives a damn because you don't have h1n1.

- urbandictionary.com

sobsss. but thank god we're both better already :) our immunity up le! now we can fight the worse virus of all. EXAM!!


okok im not supposed to blog. reportSSSS!!! >.<

but before i end off,



so cute right!! hahahahah okok im gone!


flute exam today was depressing :(

i really did practise and that part for 'cartoon' sounded still passable de... why did i forget everything today? :(( i guess i screwed up two pieces big time, so thats like only 50% survival left for me :( i just hope i dont do too badly like C or what... :(((((

haix but anyway, yes it is over and i dont wanna brood over it too much (neither do i have the time to). its gd that i kinda got over the depressed feeling by the time i got home, so its all gd :) had a overtimed-nap too, and i woke up feeling slightly more energized, so yeah hopefully tonight'll be productive :)

and i just found out this afternoon that i have this mini quiz tmr :)))) wonderful news.


daydreaming.

of the lovely blue european skies that i miss so much.

of the happy-tired 14 days in europe.

of how my exams will turn out this time, of how well i'll fare.



im just missing the holidays i guess :P and of cos, beautiful europe :) i wanna go back to those times, where the weather was nice, the pace of life slow, the complete absence of school work, and the laughter of friends.

exams, pls faster end!! X(


today seems to be a lucky day! :)

aiyah everything just seemed to run smoothly lah lols. even the buses and trains arrived quickly and i got a free precious thoughts notepad for doing a super short survey lol.

quite an accomplished day for finishing my stats studying and tutorial [erm technically finish lah :D], for practising my flute to the best of my ability, for revising ONE chapter of hp307, and for achieving my purpose of going down to orchard ion this evening :D woohoo productive day!

bought a pair of flats from rubi (a shop we walked past like 5 times today lol) and its surprisingly comfortable even when i tried it again at home. please remain comfortable for longer~~~

and we saw this at precious thoughts!



super adorable super huggable life-size forever friends bear :DDD

that costs $330 -.-

i can eat like soooo many things with that amt can...

and just in case u think tts a birthday-present-hint, its NOT. i know better than to make ppl waste money on soft toys that collect dust in the end and also not say my hse got a lot of space to put it. my huge baby taz from 4 years back is taking up enough space le... lol. this is just a... "apple of my eye" kinda thing so yeah. just for viewing pleasure~ :)

but i wont deny its so cute!! XD


to end off, i wanna congratulate my bestie~~~ :))) sincerely feeling super happy for u!! hahaha. may lotsa happiness come ur way! :D


xinyi has decided to waste the entire night doing nothing. please sue her for screwing her own grades.




gloomy tuesday.

also marks the end of gv17 module :((((( although im really glad tt yet another presentation is over, its still kinda sad leaving this module, cos it has really been a whole sem of fun! :) as with the other music modules i took, it was probably the only no-stress module compared to the hectic schedules from my cores, so it was kind of a weekly breather for me. plus i love singing! :P haha. will rmbr this course always :)

our junk-apella ppt today was quite alright i guess. ppt may be bit lengthy but i guess we did ok for the performance part :) once again, experiences i'll nv get elsewhere, so all these memories are much much treasured! we also got to know who our 'angel'-s are today (we have this angel-mortal thingy from the start of the course), and im glad to receive another note from mine :) in these "stressful times" and when i-suck-at-everything days become so frequent, it feels really nice to receive encouraging notes from ppl whom u know appreciate what u do, even though u may think nth of it. also love the "mystery effect" where u dont know who's the person who wrote those notes, and u go "ohhh so thats my angel :)" when u do find out in the end. haha so, thank you for all the encouragement angel!! :) appreciate the notes a lot, and i hope we'll all get to meet up in the hols to go for karaoke tgt :D

okays enough of "reminiscing" happy moments of the day. time to get down to work! 2 days to flute exam! chop chop!


they're both such beautiful shots i couldnt choose between them, so i uploaded both :)






the entire saturday was spent outside. not a minute with my books or projects or report or presentation slides.


it feels good. damn good. :P

and the best part? im so not guilty of that, because i had a terrific day today! :))

much as i hated being woken up by my alarm at 8am on a saturday, it was 'exciting' having to 打扮 so early in the morning. we were gonna attend my mom's friend's daughter's church wedding, and we cant possibly go in tshirt-and-shorts.

we arrived a little late but alas, we're not the latest. in fact, it started abt 20-30mins after the stipulated time? haha. anyway, i think church weddings are just soooo beautiful :)

i admit i didnt really enjoy the part where the pastor preached about god and love etc etc (sorry christian friends, but there's a reason why im a free thinker :]), but the ceremonial processions were really very touching :)

watching the bride walk down the aisle with her father, hearing them pledge the marriage vows to each other and being pronounced husband and wife, the way the hymn lyrics made all the sense in the world when the choir sang them, how the bride truly meant the lyrics for the song she sang for her new husband, were all very touching. it was my first time witnessing a church wedding in person, and i nv thought things could be so real and heartwarming from the way we see them through tv dramas (which can be a little cold), but they were. seeing the groom tear when he saw his bride walk towards him from the church door was also unexpected, but it was :') i sincerely feel very happy for the pair of newly-weds!

and now im wondering how my own wedding will be like next time hahaha :P i wonder if it'll be as beautiful~

towning after that with kah hui rosa and wei jie to get the bday presents before we drove over to yan ting's place to do the cards, and then to wan ting's bday celebration at yck sakura. thinking of what presents to buy and having to get them within 3hrs really splits our heads, but dinner was gd and the company was better, so everything was compensated :)

really enjoyed the evening with cac ppl! :D its been real long since i met up with everyone (once again) and it was nice just sitting der eating to our hearts' content and simply crapping and laming the whole evening away with them! we took lotsa photos, did stupid stuff as usual, made fun of each other (:P), took polaroids, and laughed our dinners away on the car ride home. hahaha thinking of the stupid things we said in the car really makes me smile even now. its actually all these "dumb" stuff that i rmbr huh? :P

but i kinda agree with what choon xin said..

"你讲4句话 hor, 3句是废的"

TSK SO MEAN LAHH. but i think its true HAHA :P

aiyah life's too short to be serious all the time. come on let xinyi brighten up ur day with all the lame stuff she can say~~ :P (WOW it rhymes!! hahaha)

lols. ok lah its been a long day. time to sleep and recharge for a full day of report-writing textbook-reading presentation-brainstorming and squeezing in 2hrs of one last jam before we go up the stage for EOY audition next week. fwooo. jiayou xinyi!! XD


YAYNESS 403 presentation is over!! XD

well actually thats nth much cos that ppt is not graded; the full 40% is on the report =/ BUT STILL. ITS OVER!!! XD

ambitious me is thinking of finishing the report within the next 3 days so i can just submit and get it over. and. done. with! :D

but there's still gv17 presentation, stats project, and BAND EXAM :(((((

AND EOY AUDITION!!! :((((((((((((((((

everything falls on next week. i hope i wont fall (sick) too =x

anw, rehearsed our gv17 presentation just now, and it was so fun! XD we'll be doing the a capella version of "the lion sleeps tonight" mixed with some junk-jam percussion instruments. its not exactly easy arranging all the rhythms and voice parts but when we rehearsed tgt after practising just now, guess it sounded not bad! :D i hope we get more effort marks for this mann :P

and now the song is totally looping in my head~~




wahaha im so totally in the singing mood now!! seriously, its a big load off my shoulders having done with 403 ppt. am feeling relaxed like nv before! XD i swear i havent felt this happy for the past week.. woohoo. singing heals~!! :P

but yeah i still have a thousand and one things to do and complete before i can start on revision properly :( 3 weeks to exams. jiayou everyone!! :)


from the blog that nv fails to inspire me,

"In your life you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again; but you do"

so true.


first of all,

happy 21st birthday weijie and andre!!! :D

went to their halloween-themed birthday party just now and it was really nice to see people who dressed up so nicely! a lil guilty that we didnt dress up but heh really didnt have the time to get the costumes and stuff =/ managed to borrow this pair of devil's horns from weijie though so i guess tt counts..? :P haha. and i've nv really celebrated or attended any halloween events before so its quite "cool" to see people dressed up as a witch, ichigo (bleach character), mummy, L (from death note), devils, angels, monster masks... and the list goes on! hahah. will definitely look fwd to the next halloween celebration! :)

here're some quick photos before i turn in for the day! :)

*once again, i have not mastered the proper functional use of my cheemo-camera, so the pics arent really HQ but ohwells. i love it all the same :)*


the birthday boy and girl! :) *sorry for the picture quality! X(*


with Ichigo~


L! hahaha cldnt recognise it was elson until weijie mentioned it :P nice dress-up!


the mummy! effort effort. and lotsa toilet paper too lols.


us in black and white~


:))


the witch and the devil!


black and white us..



and sepia us! :)



angel and devil~


and another slightly clearer take! :)


me with japalang angel-vampire :P


the mortal, the devil, the witch, and the angel!


and finally, all of us tgt! :) *duno wad chengwai doing... haha*

yups thats all for now. shall upload to fb another time... hahaha. til then! :)



and happy halloween :]